100 Things About Me

I favorably mentioned the Tequila Mockingbird blog in a previous post...the author, Julia, filled out a list called 100 Things About Me, and posted it. It was entertaining to read, so I thought I'd give it a go.

100 Things About Me

1. I am opposed to filling out lists like this because I don't like to confine myself to labels.

2. I enjoyed filling out this list.

3. I find this contradiction amusing.

4. I think Chris Tucker is funny.

5. I wish I could spend my life as a famous novelist. But that would require me to write for a living, so...maybe not.

6. Right Said Fred's album "Up" is grossly underappreciated.

7. I never thought I could love so much until I became a father.

8. Philosophy runs in the males of my family.

9. I think Jerry Stocking has profound things to say.

10. NLP frightens me. It is a form of black magic.

11. Guns don't kill people, people kill people. Which is as good a reason as any to take guns off the streets.

12. Actually, people don't kill people. Bullets kill people. You can have any gun you want as long as I can ban the sale of ammunition for it. But then, we all know that won't work.

13. I love my iPod. It is one of the greatest inventions ever.

14. I am very open-minded musically. In fact, the only kinds of music I don't like are country, smooth jazz, elevator music, reggae, zydeco, New Age, folk, bluegrass, Cajun, punk rock, Celtic, Gospel, Latin, R&B, disco, oldies, some heavy metal, and almost all contemporary hip-hop. I don’t understand people who limit their music listening to specific genres.

15. I don't know how to play any musical instrument. This does not mean that the members of Insane Clown Posse can fairly be considered musicians.

16. I am a loving, open, tolerant, supportive, caring, conscientious, and spiritually sensitive human being.

17. Except when I am being a hateful, vengeful, judgmental, selfish, sneaky, lazy, cheating sonofabitch.

18. I don’t always know which one I’m being.

19. I used to be an evangelical Christian. I gave it up in favor of love and forgiveness.

20. I played two leading roles in high school.

21. I am a lesbian trapped in a man's body.

22. I think Austin Powers is funny. (Groovy, baby, Yeah!)

23. I like Planes, Trains and Automobiles. No, not the movie. Planes, trains and automobiles!

24. I like to read political thrillers.

25. I think it would be cool to live in Seattle.

26. I wish I understood classical music better.

27. I believe that everyone has something to learn and something to teach.

28. I believe that men are conditioned to play masculine roles that deny them their humanity and do incalculable damage to their relationships with themselves and others. I’m blessed to have found a group of men who agree.

29. I find it difficult to come up with one hundred things to say about myself. I think this is a blessing.

30. James Bond rocks.

31. Political Correctness made me a better racist.

32. I want to learn to speak Italian someday.

33. I am not sure what death is, or what happens afterwards.

34. I don’t know if there is a God or not. Interestingly, this does not prevent me from believing in one.

35. I’m not sure my spiritual beliefs are for Her sake anyway.

36. If you see me holding onto a belief for too long (e.g., five minutes), please throw cold water in my face. Then be kind to me and hand me a towel. Then be kind to yourself and run like hell!

37. My picture has appeared on the front page of a local newspaper three times. None of those appearances were for alleged war crimes. (Then again, the pests and insects were never consulted.)

38. I have never stolen anyone’s identity. To my knowledge. Well…define ‘identity.’

39. I think life on earth is a huge cosmic joke. I only wish I could remember the punchline more often.

40. I really dislike cooking. And drawing. And gardening. And knitting. And stamp-collecting. I could go on, but what’s the point?

41. Summers in Chicago are some of my most precious memories from childhood.

42. I lived in Washington, DC for six years. Or so the parking tickets say.

43. Arizona is a state that still likes people. Well, white people, anyway, and isn't that a start?

44. I happen to know that snakes feel dry to the touch, not slimy.

45. Google is my favorite search engine.

46. I am terrified of being stuck for even a moment without something interesting to read or do.

47. I loved Crystal Pepsi, and am deeply troubled that it’s not being made anymore.

48. The Big Lebowski is one of my favorite movies of all time. (The Dude abides…)

49. In moderation, gumdrops are delicious.

50. I don’t know why doctors are called quacks.

51. I don’t know why psychologists are called shrinks.

52. I don’t know why cops are called pigs.

53. I think I know why cops are called…cops. Constable On Patrol, pig!

54. I hate watching the bus or train pull away from the platform just as I arrive.

55. I think Bob Newhart is funny.

56. I love all-American food. Meat and potatoes, baby!

57. I got two parking tickets last year. Both in front of my own house.

58. I drink enough Pepsi to pay for the company’s annual advertising expenses.

59. I would have made a superb diplomat.

60. I have never in my life consumed illicit drugs of any kind.

61. It is REALLY HARD for me to come up with 100 things about myself.

62. Flagstaff, AZ is my favorite city.

63. I have broken a few hearts. Yeah, I feel bad about it.

64. I love cool logos. Especially on jackets, sweatshirts, t-shirts, and baseball caps.

65. I once held a banana-clip assault rifle in my hand and let it rip. That sand dune never knew what hit it.

66. I was a junior varsity basketball player in high school. Because of my raw talent and skill, my season play consisted of two minutes in the last quarter of the last game of the season.

67. As an adult, I discovered I was a pretty good softball player.

68. My bowling score rarely tops 120, but I still enjoy the game.

69. I love books and music. I have way too much of both.

70. I stole money from my parents to buy candy. I have not paid them back, because I was stealing, after all, not borrowing.

71. Once when I was five or six years old, I ran away from home with a friend. The guy who took us back home was the cop sitting in the bar that we went to.

72. Boston Legal is my favorite TV show. Desperate Housewives is cool, too.

73. I want to learn the Dvorak keyboard layout someday. It’s much faster than QWERTY.

74. I do not understand why our days in secondary education were filled with geography, chemistry, history, math, English, and the like, instead of wealth building, decision making, creative thinking, interpersonal relationships, and running a decent meeting.

75. I never thought I could write a book in a month. I was stunned when I actually did it. I just might do it again.

76. I never thought being a parent would be such hard work.

77. I consider myself an introvert.

78. I can name every member of The Wiggles.

79. I am almost entirely opposed to war. I also think jet fighters, submarines, aircraft carriers, and special operations forces are cool.

80. Careers I have contemplated at one time or another: police officer, jet fighter pilot, actor, concert promoter, and novelist.

81. Careers I have not contemplated at one time or another: all the ones I’ve actually had.

82. I was a volunteer firefighter in Manassas, Virginia.

83. I invited President George H.W. Bush and his wife Laura to my college graduation.

84. I am a college dropout.

85. I once applied for a job at the CIA. I think the fact that I lied on my résumé is why they never called me.

86. I studied the Russian language for four years.

87. When I die, I want my ashes to be scattered across the Russian earth.

88. I once wrote a complete curriculum for a college-level class on Russian military power. I didn’t deliver it anywhere, I just wrote it. Yes, for fun.

89. I find astronomy and physics fascinating, even though I don’t understand any of it. I don’t read about it because to read something I don’t understand for no tangible purpose in my daily life seems like too severe of a waste of time.

90. When I was at the lowest point in my life, it was A Course In Miracles that pulled me out of the depths.

91. Whatever you may think of what I’ve written here, it has nothing to do with me. As it turns out, this is a blessing for us both.

92. I am terrified of dying before I “figure it all out.” Subjected to the scrutiny of a court of law, however, I’m not sure I would be able to satisfactorily explain what that means. I think it has to do with feeling satisfied about my life.

93. I love my family.

94. I am hugely grateful for my life and the people in it.

95. If you didn’t understand something I wrote here, good for you! I’m stuck thinking I do.

96. I am learning that I am in love with my “stories”. They are more precious to me than my health, my family, my ambitions, and my money. And if I’m not careful, they will kill me one day.

97. I am a night person.

98. Strip clubs are fun places to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live in one.

99. When I need to drown my sorrows or blow off some stress, my drug of choice is nicotine.

100. I don't think J. Krishnamurti is funny. On the other hand, I do find him to be profoundly wise and insightful.